Why You Can't Think Your Way Out of Anxiety: 5 Ways to Calm Body and Mind
Most of us have experienced anxiety at some point.
The racing thoughts. The “what ifs”. Going over the same situation again and again in our heads.
But anxiety doesn't only happen in our thoughts.
It can show up as a racing heart, tight chest, churning stomach, muscle tension, headaches, teeth clenching, poor sleep, feeling shaky or restless, difficulty concentrating, irritability, or simply that uncomfortable sense of being constantly “on edge”.
And this is something I think we're beginning to understand much better:
You can't always think your way out of something your body is experiencing too.
You may know rationally that you're okay.
You may know that the presentation, flight, medical appointment or difficult conversation isn't actually dangerous.
You might even be telling yourself, “This is ridiculous. There's nothing to worry about.”
And yet your heart is still pounding and your stomach is still doing somersaults.
That's because anxiety isn't simply a matter of having the “wrong” thoughts. Our thoughts, emotions and physical responses are closely connected.
Why does anxiety feel so physical?
Anxiety is part of our body's response to something we perceive as stressful, uncertain or threatening.
When that response is activated, very real physical changes can occur. Your heart may beat faster. Your breathing may change. Your muscles may tense. Your digestive system can react. You may feel hot, shaky, nauseous, breathless or unable to settle.
This response can be extremely useful when we genuinely need to react to danger.
The difficulty is that our bodies can respond to perceived threat as well as immediate physical danger.
A looming deadline, an audition, a sports match, an exam, a difficult conversation, uncertainty about the future or even the memory of something that happened in the past can produce a physical response.
This helps explain something I hear frequently:
“I know it logically, but I can't help feeling…”
Knowing something intellectually doesn't necessarily mean that our emotional and physical response will immediately follow this “logic”.
What can contribute to feeling anxious?
There isn't one single cause of anxiety, and what contributes to it will be different for each person.
Life circumstances and ongoing stress obviously matter. But I also think it's important to look at the wider picture:
How are you sleeping?
Are you eating regularly? And is your diet nutritious and balanced?
How much caffeine or alcohol are you having?
Are you moving your body?
Are you isolated or feeling connected to other people?
Is there something difficult happening in your life?
Could hormonal changes be contributing?
Are there past experiences that seem to trigger a disproportionate response in the present?
And, importantly, could there be a physical or medical reason for some of the symptoms you're experiencing? It's important not to assume that every physical symptom is caused by anxiety. If you're experiencing new, persistent or concerning physical symptoms there may be an underlying medical issue or a side effect of medication you’re on that’s contributing to how you're feeling. It's worth discussing this with your GP.
In my practice, rather than assuming everything is “just anxiety”, I prefer to look at what's happening in the whole person.
What about hormones and anxiety?
Hormonal changes can be an important (and sometimes overlooked) part of the picture.
Some women notice changes in anxiety, irritability or emotional sensitivity at particular stages of their menstrual cycle.
Perimenopause and menopause can also be accompanied by changes in mood, sleep, concentration and anxiety. Sometimes a woman who has never considered herself particularly anxious suddenly finds herself experiencing feelings that seem to have appeared “from nowhere.”
Fertility treatment can add another layer. Hormonal medication may coincide with the very real emotional strain of treatment, uncertainty, waiting and the enormous importance attached to the outcome.
Thyroid imbalance can also cause anxiety.
This doesn't mean hormones explain every case of anxiety. But when we're looking at the whole picture, they're worth considering.
5 ways to help calm body and mind
There is no single strategy that's right for everybody. But these are five areas I often consider when someone is feeling anxious, overwhelmed or persistently on edge.
1. Sleep
Anxiety and poor sleep can easily feed each other.
We worry, so we don't sleep well. Then we're tired, less resilient and more reactive the following day, so things that we'd normally cope with easily can suddenly feel much harder.
Rather than aiming for “perfect sleep”, start with consistency: regular sleep and waking times, enough opportunity for sleep, and a wind-down period that genuinely gives your brain and body a chance to shift gear.
If you're waking frequently, struggling to fall asleep or consistently feeling exhausted despite spending enough time in bed, it's also worth exploring why rather than simply accepting poor sleep as normal.
2. Nutrition
I'm not suggesting that anxiety can be fixed by eating more broccoli.
But our brains don't operate separately from the rest of our bodies.
Regularly spaced, nourishing meals, adequate protein and fibre, good hydration and a varied diet provide more stable energy levels and a better physical foundation for dealing with everything life throws at us.
Certain nutrients and herbs can help, but the basic good structure needs to be in place.
It's also worth being curious about caffeine.
Caffeine is a stimulant, and for some people it can contribute to feeling jittery, experiencing palpitations or having difficulty sleeping. If you're already feeling wired or on edge, several strong coffees a day may be adding fuel to the fire.
Alcohol is worth considering too. Although it may initially make us feel more relaxed, it can interfere with sleep and can make anxiety feel worse afterwards.
3. Movement
We tend to think about exercise in terms of fitness, strength, cardiovascular health or weight.
But movement can also change how we feel.
Walking, Pilates, swimming, strength training, cycling, dancing — even getting outside for ten minutes and moving your body — can help shift our physical and mental state.
It doesn't have to be punishing exercise.
In fact, sometimes what we need is exactly the opposite: movement that leaves us feeling better rather than another demand we have to meet. I like to help people tune into what movement their body needs at that particular time: Today do you need to “burn off” some frustration or give your energy an outlet? Or do you need some quieter more restorative movement to “come back to yourself”?
The best form of movement is usually one you enjoy enough to keep doing.
4. EFT (tapping)
This is where I find things particularly interesting.
One of the most frustrating aspects of anxiety is when you know something logically, but that knowledge doesn't seem to change how you feel.
You know the plane is safe — but you're terrified of flying.
You know you've prepared thoroughly for the presentation — but your heart is racing before you walk into the room.
You know worrying isn't going to change tomorrow's outcome — but you still can't switch off at 2am.
This is one of the reasons I've used EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), commonly known as “tapping”, in my practice for many years.
With EFT, rather than trying to talk yourself out of what you're feeling, we work directly with the response that's actually there. We bring our attention to the thought, fear, memory or physical sensation while tapping gently on a series of acupressure points.
And this is the part that often surprises people: the intensity of the response often begins to change.
Something that felt overwhelming can become less charged. You can think about the same situation without experiencing the same knot in your stomach, racing heart or surge of emotion.
The situation hasn't magically changed. You haven't “convinced yourself” that everything is wonderful.
But the way you respond to it can change.
I've seen this happen with fears, phobias, stressful experiences, performance nerves, difficult memories and situations people have been thinking and talking about, sometimes for years. And in just a few rounds of tapping, it reduces.
That's what makes EFT particularly interesting when you understand something perfectly well in your head, but your body and emotions seem to be telling you something else.
5. Connection
We're not designed to do everything alone.
Connection doesn't necessarily always mean sitting down and having a deep conversation about your feelings.
It might mean walking with a friend. Having dinner with family. Going to a class. Playing sport. Laughing with somebody. Asking for help. Or simply spending time with people around whom you can relax and be yourself.
When life becomes busy or difficult, connection is often one of the first things to disappear, yet it may be one of the things we need the most.
A whole-person approach to anxiety
Many years in clinical practice have shown me that there's not one universal answer to feeling anxious.
For one person, poor sleep and relentless stress may be playing a major role.
For another, hormonal changes may be contributing.
Someone else may be carrying an emotional response to a past experience that still gets activated in certain situations.
And for many people, it's a combination of things.
That's why when someone comes to see me feeling anxious, stressed or persistently “on edge”, I don't assume there's one thing that needs “fixing”.
I look at the whole picture: what's happening physically, emotionally and their life stage/circumstances, and we work out where it makes sense to begin.
My work draws on more than 20 years of clinical experience and may incorporate EFT (tapping), clinical herbal medicine, movement, nutrition and practical lifestyle strategies. These aren't separate boxes that everyone has to fit into. They're different tools that allow me to tailor the work to the person sitting in front of me.
Sometimes the starting point is something practical, such as sleep or nutrition.
Sometimes it's working with an emotional response that simply won't shift, despite knowing logically that there's nothing to fear.
And sometimes it's recognising that several things are interacting and need to be looked at together.
The question isn't necessarily “Which therapy do I need?”
It's often simply:
“What's going on for me and where might be a good place to start?”
Note: These approaches are complementary to appropriate medical or psychological care and I often work in conjunction with other prcatitioners.
Not sure where to start?
If any of this feels familiar to you and you're wondering what might help in your particular situation, I offer a free introductory chat.
It's an opportunity for you to tell me a little about what's been happening, ask any questions you may have and find out whether my approach might be a good fit for you.
You don't need to know whether you need EFT, herbal medicine or something else before you contact me. That's part of what we can talk about.
And if I don't think I'm the right person for you, I'll tell you that too and guide you towards appropriate care.
There's no obligation to book anything afterwards, unless you choose to.
Tammi O'Flynn is a Clinical Herbal Medicine Practitioner, certified EFT practitioner and Pilates/movement therapist with more than 20 years' clinical experience. She works with clients in Dublin and online.
